Thursday 8 October 2020


 πŸŒ±πŸŒ±πŸŒ±3 Years Taking CBD Oil🌱🌱🌱🌱

I’ve just hit my 3rd year anniversary of taking CBD oil and it has definitely made a difference to me. Of course, it may not work for everyone but this is my experience, in case you are thinking of trying it.

I use a 10% CBD Oil from a company called REVITALIZE CBD I would say that for a good quality full spectrum product it’s not that expensive, you pay for what you get . If you want to give it a try, Let me know and I can get 10% off for you . I started taking 2 drops a day and over 3 months built up to the maximum 8 drops a day. I take 4 in the morning and 4 in the evening.

I didn’t notice much of a difference taking CBD at first. It was only when I stopped taking it for a day that I realised it was actually making a difference.

On that day my fatigue & pain knocked me back and I just didn’t feel normal . This was the state I had been in before I started taking it, and it has happened on the odd occasion I’ve forgotten to or been unable to take CBD.

My pain is also a lot more manageable now. I’m not sure if its down to CBD or not but I didn’t change anything else in my lifestyle. I’m still in pain, but the level out of 10 has gone down at least 1 point every day compared to before, which is a massive positive for me.

Painkillers come with so many side effects and really didn’t make much difference to my pain, and often made my fatigue worse. I use CBD instead and find it works a lot better and helps both fatigue and pain. I just have to remember to take it which is a challenge with the fibro fog.

On the whole I’m very happy I started taking it and will continue for the foreseeable future as it has really worked for me. Be sure to check with your GP first in case you have any medications that may react with it.

Tuesday 6 August 2019

Self Care & Self Love

Good morning spoonies and non spoonies ! Let’s talk of ways of coping and taking care of yourself in a positive way ... you know as well as I that if you are in 24/7 pain , socialising is no longer an option ( at least for me ) , so how have I coped with feeling less isolated from the world ? I have made some meaningful friendships on social media , fellow chronic illness fighters , and other ladies that you know they just get you ...... We support each other , we are there for each other on sleepless nights and on very low days ... and of course Mother ( she is my rock , my punching bag when I have just had enough.. she is my everything and I’m so very blessed to have her ) . I try to support people that I know are going through a tough time , I listen .... sometimes all we need is someone to listen . This is what I do to feel less isolated and feel that I can still make a difference.

Self love and Self Care πŸ’–: Now I am good at this !!!!  If you are on 20 meds plus a day plus going through the menopause... well you know that your skin and appearance can be affected😬, especially dehydration, your face may look tired and less plump , your hands and feet are showing signs of the water retention , washing your hair can become a problem ( unless you have someone helping you or you can go to have your hair done every week , unfortunately this is not my case πŸ˜’). Showers and Baths : well showers aren’t a problem you may need a stool or chair that you can purchase from care shops , baths ............. 🀦‍♀️🀦‍♀️🀦‍♀️ I will never attempt to have a bath again after I got stuck in the bath and had to call my 77 year old mother to lift me out .. I can’t tell you the embarrassment so much so that I was in tears 😭 from being hysterical as I felt trapped and laughing tears because of the image of what I was looking wasn’t a pretty sight , poor mother had to have 2 weeks rest after having ousted me up from the bath 😳😳😳.

What products are really helpful and work ( I am not advertising or selling any of the products mentioned )

Face : A Rose water tonic spritz is a must have ! It is anti inflammatory, it’s soothing , when you are in pain or have hot flushes this is the one to use . My favourite one is Mario Badescu Rose water .
A good face serum is a must , I have 3 that I use :
1-Niacinamide Serum by Garden of Wisdom
2-Neurophroline Serum by Garden of Wisdom
3-Hyaluronic Acid Serum - Vegetarian by Garden of Wisdom

Moisturiser for face I am reviewing a few and I will let you know which is the winner ( of course I am a woman in my early 50’s so it is an anti wrinkle one for me πŸ™‚)

For your precious body I think you can’t go wrong with Bio Oil ! I also Use Arnica oil for pain ... I use a very strong one in fact it is actually produced for horses aching muscles 🐎 πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚but it is ok for humans too, I buy this from Amazon .

Water Retention: Ginger oil this is really good and really helps , of course I didn’t mention the one thing you must drink every day , at least 2 and a half litres of WATER πŸ’§!

I do also suffer from depression, panic attacks and anxiety.... how do I cope with these ...... well I don’t πŸ˜‚ , but a good sense of humour helps ! I also use CBD OIL , and essential oils .... and of course my Duloxetine !!

Remember to never give up and that YOU ARE ENOUGH! M x


Wednesday 31 July 2019

Let’s talk about the “F” word

No Sleep... But I Look so Well!
“But you look so well”, are the usually replies I get from people or friends whenever I reject an invitation to go out . A few years ago, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, a chronic illness that’s tough to distinguish between arthritis and fibromyalgia. Patients can usually feel pain in their bones, which is enough pain to make you stay in bed all day, regardless of how well the person may appear. Regardless of how painful and miserable my day may seem, I’ve learned to live with this disorder and to continue the beautiful life that this world has to offer through the little things in my life . In this post, we will be discussing one of my life’s greatest challenges and how I learned to cope through pain management and listening to my body.  

What is Fibromyalgia
Under analysis, fibromyalgia may seem almost similar to arthritis or joint inflammation. However, they are very much different. Fibromyalgia is a chronic illness that causes pain that is amplified by the brain receptors. The common thing about this is that they all cause mental distress without a doubt and they both hurt really badly! Fibromyalgia is a disorder that affects the bones and muscular structures of the body, similar to a patient that is suffering from major arthritis conditions. Currently, there is no cure to fibromyalgia, and the cause of this illness is still uncertain.

Facts About Fibromyalgia
Here are some details about the disorder and what things to expect;
• Fibromyalgia causes widespread pain, fatigue, and other types of discomfort.
• Symptoms resemble those of arthritis or MS , but fibromyalgia affects the soft tissue, not the joints.
• The cause is unknown, but risk factors include traumatic injury, rheumatoid arthritis and other autoimmune disorders, such as lupus, and genetic factors.
• There is no cure, but medications, gentle stretching and behavioural therapy can help relieve symptoms in some case .

Personal Experience
My personal experience of being diagnosed with fibromyalgiahas been one of the greatest challenges of my life. One of the toughest milestones I’ve faced is getting proper sleep at night and restless leg syndrome. The combination of issues the fibromyalgia brought has prevented me from participating with friends or family, which can affect you emotionally as well, causing the person to fall into a state of depression. After a few months of being diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I was unable to hang out with my friends to join on nights out or simple coffee mornings. This has led to depression. Don’t be the victim by making the same mistakes as me, don’t be a “wall-flower’! Let your friends and family know how the chronic illness has become a serious problem and that you need to get professional help.

Previously, doctors would usually check for a specific 18 points on a person’s body to see how many of them were painful, whenever pressure is applied in that specific area. Over the research development, newer studies reveal that a fibromyalgia diagnosis can be made if the person has experienced widespread pain for more than three months (90 days or more). 

What Should You Do If You Think You Have Fibromyalgia? 
Being sceptical about your health is completely normal. If you feel unusual bodily pain but cannot pinpoint it, it is just probably a minor muscular pain and shouldn’t be anything too big of a deal for you to be worried about it. However, if you are noticing that such pain is consistent, you should visit your doctor for a checkup. Nevertheless, individuals that believe that they are possible victims to the “silent-bully” (fibromyalgia) should seek further consultation for sourcingbest solution possible. The following are a few things that can be done for the fibromyalgia pains that you may be experiencing;

1) Seek Professional Help / Visit the Doctor
The very first thing you ought to do is visit your doctor and go through a complete examination. The examination may include a combination of pressure point check (although much of this practice is no longer in use). Sometimes the physical examination of pressure point testing can help to discover other related problems that may be resulting in the pain effects over the entire body. There may be other physical examination required prior to announcing diagnostics. However, it isn’t necessary since the new guidelines conclude that a person is considerably diagnosed with fibromyalgia if and only the pain is consistent for more than 3 months. 
2) Blood Testing
With the amazing medical technology that we have today, it'sstill not powerful enough for researchers to understand exactly where or how does the effect of fibromyalgia come from. Doctors may want to rule out on other similar condition through blood testing, which includes;   
• Complete blood count
• Erythrocyte sedimentation rate
• Cyclic citrullinated peptide test
• Rheumatoid factor
• Thyroid function tests

3) Medication
With all the struggles that I’ve experienced with sleep, some prescribed and over-the-counter medication can help to reduce the pain and the restlessness and fatigue that many patients commonly feel.   
• Pain relievers. Some “over-the-counter” medication may be appropriate for you. They include acetaminophen, ibuprofen, and naproxen sodium. Some doctors may suggest a prescription plan, including tramadol (Ultram). 
• Antidepressants. Although this sounds a bit odd, some antidepressants can help reduce the pain. Antidepressants like Duloxetine (Cymbalta) and milnacipran (Savella) can help to reduce pain and bodily fatigue associated with fibromyalgia. Prescriptions like amitriptyline or specific muscle relaxants cyclobenzaprine may be suggested to help patients with sleep or for those that are experiencing insomnia.  
• Anti-seizure drugs. In some cases, doctors may also prescribe anti-seizure drugs to help reduce certain types of pain. Gabapentin, also known as Neurontin, can sometimes help reduce fibromyalgia symptoms. Lyrica (pregabalin) was announced as the first approved drug by the FDA, ensuring the treatment for fibromyalgia. However, over the numerous case studies, it is understood that there are other medications (over-the-counter) that can reduce pain sufficiently, as compared to the Lyrica (pregabalin). 
4) Therapy Options
Therapy option is probably one of my favourites. It offers plenty of time for relaxation, all while relaxing the fatigued body. There are several therapies that can help to reduce the effects of fibromyalgia. If you are a victim to fibromyalgia, consider the following therapy options that may be effective for you;
• Physical therapy. Gentle stretching 
• Occupational therapy. It is essentially important to understand your triggers. Understanding the trigger points can help pinpoint the cause of the pain. In most cases, work-related physical activities can be a source of the problem. If you are unsure whether or not if your job is the source, consider consulting with an occupational therapist. An occupational therapist can help to make adjustments with your work area or the way you perform certain tasks that will cause less stress on your body, resulting in more mobility over immobility.
• Counselling. A little bit of self-motivation can set the mood to swing in the right direction! Your belief system plays a major role in your mindset. Visiting a counsellor can help you strengthen your belief in your abilities and may shed light over strategies that can help you out with stressful situations that you were unaware of before. 
5) Making New Lifestyle Changes
Many of us may not be aware of the fact that sometimes the daily activities that you engage in, can be the sources of your problems. Therefore, it's best to first understand where the triggers are being set-off from and why. The second procedure is to reduce or eliminate that activity that tends to set-off your fibromyalgia triggers. The following are some examples of how you can implement the lifestyle change that can encourage a better painless mobility lifestyle. 
• Are you getting enough good quality sleep? A lack of deep sleep is thought to contribute to the fatigue, concentration and short-term memory problems experienced by people with fibromyalgia. Consistency is key when it comes to sleep. Each night, follow the same bedtime ritual as a signal to your body that it’s time to sleep. Whether it’s taking a warm bath, reading a book, listening to music , meditation, find the ritual that is right for you. If you still can’t get to sleep, consider talking to your doctor about sleep aids.
• The power of touch. Some research suggests that massage can assist in fibromyalgia pain management. Researchers from the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami School of Medicine found that massage therapy provided multiple benefits, including improved sleep, decreased joint pain and lowered stress hormones.  

Final Thoughts
There is no doubt that fibromyalgia comes with its toll of troubles, but that should be a reason why you shouldn’t appreciate and enjoy life. With a few options that are clinically proven to help, patients that have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia should consider opting out all the options that have been provided in this review. In some cases, patients tend to do better with a treatment plan that consists of a combination of both; prescribe medication and therapy. Since the chronic illness still requires considerable amounts of research before a solution is concluded, patients should seek help to help conclude a solution. Some options like home remedies and therapy can reduce low moods days and painful areas in the body that causes mental distress. Regardless of the solution, the most important thing is that you find a plan that works exceptionally for you as we are all individuals what works for some might  not work for others . Keep Strong M x 


Saturday 13 July 2019


My first post in the month of July ! It’s been a challenging few weeks....I was told years ago that once you suffer from depression it will always be with you , it might lie low for periods of times even years , but then it can show up , like an unwanted guest .  
My first experience with depression started when I was 19 years of age, maybe due to teenage bad choices and the fact that i stammered from a very early age. After the first episode I can comfortably say that it has always been with me at different stages of my life , where I soon learned  to simply live with it,  I knew that eventually it would disappear deep at the back of my mind until the next episode.

DEPRESSION for me is dark, I start breathing heavily, my chest is heavy with the feeling of having of having a ton of bricks on it , it’s holding me down making it difficult for me to breath , it is feeling sick all the time . With depression there is no making plans, your mind is numb , your body is numb ,  there is no thinking of what you are going to eat , there is no thinking of getting dressed or taking a shower . You are living in this dark bubble where there aren’t any solutions ....where the only emotion is numbness , you waste your days hiding , you become isolated , sometimes you don’t even open the door if the bell rings or you don’t answer your phone . All you wish , is for the feelings to disappear and close your eyes waiting for the next day , sometime you wish that there will be no next day ........ but you try hard to fight this feeling as you don’t want to hurt your loved ones . With depression I wake up with tears in my eyes , sometimes tears just roll down my face without even knowing what has triggered this off . 

You come to the decision that you need medical help as you can feel that you are losing yourself and you become scared . In my case I started to take Duloxetine which is an anti depressant. This has helped a little , at least to take back some sort of control and to think that you can’t give up , you need to fight back ..... I owe it to my loved ones. Therefore depression has become a faithful companion that I try and manage and keep at bay the best as I can and try and hide it behind a smile and humour , and learned to be really good at it.
I have seen psychologist and used counselling in the past which has helped . 

                                DO  NOT  SUFFER  IN  SILENCE

Sunday 30 June 2019

Empower & Support

It’s 1.42 am in the morning and as usual I can’t sleep.  So I thought I haven’t written on my blog for 2 days , unfortunately it was a matter of MAN DOWN or in my case WOMAN DOWN ..... for the past 2 days I was unable to move the pain was too much , my fingers looked like pork sausages they were swollen and painful, this is Fibro playing silly games with me .... telling me  “ M you have had 2 days where you managed to enjoy the sun and your garden , I think I need you to drag you back down to reality “ .    So here it goes , while resting I thinking .. why did I start this blog ? I started it to give me a purpose and to focus on the positive things I have in my life .   In reality I would like it to be much more than this ! I would like to Empower & Support women with my life experiences and professional experience.  So this is something I am going to put out there for you ; Do you need support in the following areas :
Depression & Anxiety
Chronic illnesses
Multiple miscarriages
You just have to contact me and I’ll try my best to support you , and possibly signpost you to relevant agencies . This is FREE by the way , i would like to support people like I used to , my professional background is as a Young People & Adults Mentor and Parents Advisor . I have also gone through
all the areas I have listed . All you need to do is contact me ( obviously confidentiality will be respected ) . One truth I found out , about myself since having fibromyalgia , is that I miss helping others . I will also start sharing a little more about my self .... this is a journey I feel I needed to do .

Friday 28 June 2019

One day at a time

Just thought I would post one last post today , and I guess it’s for all my fellow Fibro warriors, spoonies and all women with chronic illnesses. Today was a good day and for this I’m am so grateful....tomorrow will see,  it’s unknown,  this is how we live , we don’t know how the next day will be .. we don’t know how the next hour will be.    You see most of us won’t sleep much at all tonight , due to pain , restless leg syndrome, and various other issues that come with our conditions. We get ready for bed usually with help , we take all our medication for the night , put our morphine patches on or lidocaine patches to numb the pain , and we lie there thinking will the pain ever stop .  In the  morning we will try and have a good day again .... and that’s just it WE WILL TRY , because we don’t give up , we will always try to do our very best to smile ( even if we are in agony ) we usually put our mask on ......some of us have small children, some of us live with our parents , some of us will have a partner , we try our best not to be a burden ..... And until we keep on trying..... there will always be HOPE . This is a little insight in the life of a fibromyalgia sufferer....that still goes to bed dreaming .
Much love M x 

Surrounded by happiness

Wow !!!! There aren’t many days where I can say I woke up feeling calm and happy ..... but today is one of them , it is just stunning outside !  The garden is just blooming with beautiful flowers ... such beautiful colours that make me feel calm ... and for this  very moment I feel I haven’t got a worry in the world . I feel so grateful for days like this , you learn to appreciate all the little things that surround you . Today is just going to be about enjoying the day  , not going to write much I’ll just leave you with some pictures that’s I have taken . I’m slowly getting used to sharing my life , it still doesn’t come easy to me , but I’m getting there , I hope to share more in the future , maybe in the hope to support and empower other women that have gone through or are going through similar experiences as I have .
Take care M x

Thursday 27 June 2019


Another beautiful day this morning ! Doesn’t it make such a difference to be able to open your curtains...and there it is the SUN ☀️. We undervalue how the weather can effect us , the weather can really lower my mood to the point that my anxiety and depression effects my body , my thoughts  and how I view things in general. SAD ( Seasonal Affected Disorder )  this is the condition that effects quite a lot of people in the UK to the point they have to take medication.

As it’s a beautiful day I thought I would introduce you to who helps me on my bad days and good days . Even on my very worse day he manages to put a smile on my face , he gives me unconditional love and I could not be more grateful to the Universe and my son ( who bought him home ).. that this little mad , crazy , funny ,hyperactive little soul came into my life !  I can honestly say not sure I could have got through the last 8 months without him

This is RICO ! When he arrived into our life we just fell in love with him , we didn’t know what kind of a dog he was , we found out he is 75% Brewer Terrier and 25% Jack Russel . He doesn’t look very happy in this picture , he had just had a fur cut . ( not happy at all )

Today I am grateful and thankful for Rico , for loving me unconditionally, for waking me up with all his kisses , for making me feel less lonely and just for just always being there for me ,  for being my friend , for accepting all my flaws and my health conditions, for never judging me , for loving me just the way I am .

Much love M x

Tuesday 25 June 2019

Being a Mother

From the title of my post , you might think what on earth is she on about! ...... This evening my only child .... yes my precious boy ( 19 years old 😬) is going to Ibiza on holiday with all his friends !!!
I can’t even begin to tell you the afternoon that I have had , packing the suitcase with him , making sure he had his sun protection creams so not to burn , paracetamol.. because I know he will need them . Next I made him pinky promise  to phone his grandparents in Italy to let them know he is ok , then he will have to call me everyday just to make sure he is ok . So after all the promises that he probably won’t keep ........ the time came that he had to go with his big  suitcase to meet his friend, this is when you start thinking πŸ€” where did my bambino go ......the realisation just hit me ! It is me that has attachment issues , he is my only child and he is a rainbow 🌈 child , but while waving goodbye to him I also realised , the best gift I can give him is set him free ... he is a young man now and I can only pray that all the principles that I’ve taught him have been useful .  While I walk back inside the house I am still making a list in my head of all the things I packed for him in is wash bag , toothpaste, toothbrush , Paracetamol, hay fever tablets... yes he has got everything......but wait a second , something was missing , the most important item when you go on a lads holiday  ......🀦‍♀️🀦‍♀️🀦‍♀️🀦‍♀️🀦‍♀️🀦‍♀️🀦‍♀️🀦‍♀️

Goodnight M x

Ps I remember reading somewhere that our children are never ours to keep , they are just borrowed , we are preparing them for life x

I would welcome comments from mothers with similar experiences πŸ™‚

Saturday 22 June 2019

Glorious Day !

Wow !!! What a fabulous day , feel  so thankful...... when you suffer from various chronic illnesses conditions and you suffer from insomnia , you start your day already tired , you take your 30 tablets or so and then you hope hope for something different.... you hope for something that will make  you smile ...... you hope that you you can get through the day without a migraine and manage your pain .... but when you wake you up and you can see sunshine coming through your windows, I just automatically smile , this means I can go and enjoy my garden .
Flowers and plants for me mean LIFE they mean growth , they mean happiness and awakening. This I can say is my therapy to my anxiety and depression, I love sitting early in the morning with my espresso coffee just breathing in the fresh air , taking in all the smells from all the new buds coming through.  I love especially the smell from my White Wisteria ..... it’s just delightful.

I have learned to always be grateful to one thing every day , today I am grateful for today , I am grateful for the Sun , the enjoyment of being happy by just looking at the little red rose bush coming through . What have you been grateful for today ? I would love to know .

As I’m new to this blogging experience, I’m keeping my posts quite short at the moment as I get quite tired , I’m hoping to get better and better especially proofreading, as I do make many mistakes, I don’t pretend to be a writer of any sought .  Until next time .

Thankful for today M x

Wednesday 19 June 2019


Today is the first day of my new found purpose. You might think why is this ? .. When you suffer from a chronic illness you become quite isolated , from the bubbly and extrovert person that you once were , you become an introvert , you stop socialising due to the pain and fatigue . This is what I have become .... but I still dream !!! In me there is still a part of me where I would like to dance with my son ! Show him that I’ve still got the moves. Cook a nice meal for my family , and finally ..take care of my parents ( not the other way round ). I had lots of dreams unfortunately some won’t come true , but that’s ok , I am learning to be happy with the little things . I am hoping to be able to give you interesting content...... well there are quite a few experiences that I’m hoping to share with you . I will start by  letting you know my interests , I love Home Decor especially shabby chic and modern furniture  mixed together, love skincare and makeup and also love Gardens and flowers.
Well here is my first post !!!! Hope I haven’t bored you too much πŸ™‚ until next time . M